so sleepy....

I think this week has officially exhausted me. I feel good at what I have accomplished, but I'm literally exhausted... my first paper of the semester is completed and turned in... my two projects for prac are almost finished (I'm so close!).... and I'm hopefully going to meet my first deadline for the faculty resource manual (ah! Monday)... I'm so excited I don't really have to think tomorrow. We are having grad leader training, but its been planned for weeks no so I'm not feeling too much stress about it. But even thinking ahead to this weekend is stressing me out... I have to get ahead with my reading and finish these projects... and i haven't run in two days which is driving me crazy. I want to do something nice for me -- aka a book store run. All I really want to do is sleep though... 

the big day...

Tomorrow is my LeaderShape interview and I know I'm not going to be able to sleep much tonight. Everyone is going through the interview process right now for internships, and I feel like we are all going to have some really hard decisions to make over the next few weeks. I have been lucky enough to interview with some great schools... but tomorrow is one of the interviews I have been preparing for since last February. I have always, ALWAYS wanted to be a summer program coordinator for LeaderShape-- ever since I went through the national program my sophomore year of college. And this is a dream that I have been chasing for three years. Lots of people have commented on my ability to set goals and go after what I want... and this is most definitely a goal that I have set for myself. Needless to say I'm a little nervous... 

.... and I'm certainly starting to get nervous about the upcoming decision I am going to have to make. February 11th is fast approaching and I am just not feeling ready to assess all of my options and decide what is right for me for this summer. I know that I have always wanted to work for LeaderShape, but I am also trying to stay open-minded and be open to other experiences that I am learning about... I know that it will all work out for the best. I have been thinking back to GARP and to my interview processes with all of the schools I interviewed with last spring and I do feel like it all worked out and that I found the right fit for me. I know I just need to trust the process.... 

but for now.... LeaderShape! 

Transitioning again....

I spend all day thinking about first-year issues and transition issues... but I never really thought much about how my transition back to S.C. would be and now I find myself going through my own transition all over again! I was excited to come back to S.C. and see all of my friends and get back into the swing of things. But now that I am here, settled in and back into my normal schedule of being insanely busy, I am feeling completely overwhelmed. 

I am loving work and school right now, but socially I'm just confused. I thought our cohort was so close, but I have yet to hang out with everyone since I have been back. I have seen a few close friends, which has been great, but overall I really just feel like being by myself. I don't feel like my normal social self. I think I am finally beginning to discover who my true friends are and I am realizing things about certain people that are really causing me to question my friendships with them, one person in particular. I am still trying to figure out what kind of friend I am for other people, and I think that as I figure that out I will begin to realize even more who I can trust here and who my true friends are and who is looking out for me and not just themselves. I know that maybe sounds harsh, or rude, but for so long I think I have been floating from friendship to friendship without really thinking about who my TRUE friends are. I want to be liked and I wanted to be friends with everyone, but maybe thats not what I want anymore. 

In general I am overwhelmed with the thoughts I have been having in regards to my relationships.... I have been doing A LOT of thinking... and as I figure things out I think I will continue to have my good and bad days. All I know is that I am thankful for the friends in my life that I already know I can trust and who I can turn to during this time in my own transition.... 

Fun in the windy city...

One day left in Chicago... Its been a long break but one full of good times with friends and family. I spent so much time the first week of break just catching up on sleep and reading... its been nice being more active this week. I've been in the city since last Monday, hanging out with my favorite ladies and staying at Lindsay's great apartment off of Lake Shore Drive. Its been a great trip so far. We have enjoyed some great restaurants and bars in the lakeview area; I saw Jersey Boys with Chris while he was here; went to see the zoo lights at the Lincoln Park Zoo with Lindsay; had a fun day in Millennium Park and at the Art Institute with Dan; and went to the burbs to go wedding dress shopping with Laura! lots of fun times in one short week. 

I'm ready to get back to Columbia now though! I feel like there are so many bits and pieces to take care of before classes start on Monday. Doctors appointment, fixing my computer, oil change, getting textbooks, final internship stuff (although I'm mostly done... yay!)... I'm feeling a little stressed about finishing up everything before Monday. And I'm really excited to see some familiar HESA faces... especially the rooms! And of course I'm ready for some warmer weather :) 

One last day in the city tomorrow and then back to Cola on Wednesday. Below are some awesome pics of my trip. Enjoy! 

The beautiful windy city and the bean in Millennium Park!! 

New Year's night in the city with the ladies!

I took Chris to see Jersey Boys in Chicago while he was here for new years! 

My cute cousin Frankie, the newest addition to my family! I loved spending time with her while I was with the fam... 

Us playing with her cool new ride and stride lion... 

A new beginning....

Well, 2009 is upon us.... a new year... and a new beginning. For once in a long time I feel like I have a lot of focus going in to this year. I am loving South Carolina and my graduate program; my new friends, especially my favorite ladies; my job and all the other great experience I am getting on campus.... I really want to begin focusing on all of the good going on in my life and begin focusing on me -- on who I am and where I want to be when I graduate. 

I feel so blessed to have such good friends, both at home in the midwest and in the place I now call home. I know I can always return to my besties in the midwest -- Lindsay, Chris, Sarah and Laura; and then my closest friends in South Carolina. I know I have people to support me and I want more than anything to focus on those friendships and grow through them and through the experiences of the upcoming semester. 

I'm enjoying my time on break now... relaxing and preparing for what is ahead. I've gotten a lot accomplished, especially with internship stuff... Now I'm just enjoying time in the Windy City with the besties....